I wrote this when I still had my old blog. I want to give it a place in my new blog because I feel like it really captures my 2011 frame of mind (and I find connections like that interesting). I’m also reposting because I think peeps might enjoy reading this entry (well, hopefully cho guyz do).
Please enjoy my circa 2011 writing…now:
The predominant topic during girly nights in: boys. Perhaps this isn’t true for all female friendships, but it is for the ones I share. On such a sacred session, a lady love of mine started talking about her lover. But he isn’t important. His friend, however, is.
Looks-wise he’s fine. But there’s something about him. Something special. He’s got this sexy smirk thing going on. It’s a look filled with all sorts of mischievous intentions. Intentions you feel compelled to actualize, if he asked nicely enough (and you know he will). There’s one major deal breaker though: the boy is a man slut.
I know that most cultures praise guys who’ve got game. Even I have to admit, I like playas. Their cool, charismatic charm makes them more intriguing than their less flirtatious counterparts. I mean, there must be some reason they’re getting all the girls right? But…it’s definitely not an ideal dating situation.
There exists a double standard. However, it’s not as intense as people think. If a girl collected men, she’d be ostracized and even despised by the conservatives in her community. Guys may get off easier, but that doesn’t mean they don’t suffer the consequences of their actions.
There’s such a thing as being too smooth. The narcissist in me will want to believe everything he says. I like feeling special! But the obvious suaveness will make me question his every word. Are these just lines he says to every girl he meets? Does he even mean them? Am I really special? I’ll be caught in the uncomfortable in-between of belief and suspicion. By thinking I see right through him, that’s what I’ll do. I won’t see him for who he really is.
The important thing is trust. As long as he backs up his words with actions, there won’t be a problem. So what if he used to whore around? His promiscuous past isn’t legitimate reason to suspect that he’ll cheat on me. But I don’t know what will happen when I get old and he gets tired of seeing my saggy, cellulite dimpled, wrinkle riddled butt. Even while my bits are still reasonably perky, I’ll worry just the same about him missing his old lifestyle -not because I’m generalizing but because I know what it’s like.
Even though maturity has transformed me into a different person from who I used to be in high school, there’ll always be a part of me who wants to be naughty and wild and free. Why should he be any different? I wasn’t even that liberated. I was more of an attention whore than a real one. So, since he’s the real deal, he’ll have more to miss. What a bummer. I want to captivate, not bore him.
The last thing I want is for his faithfulness to be intermingled with resentment. The coolness of having a prisoner of love (to do my bidding bwahaha!) would be considerably lessened if he thought of me as his ball and chain -instead of his sexy dungeon Mistress or kinky co-captive.
Well, maybe this won’t be a problem. I have confidence in my ability to entertain and captivate. But I do get spasms of inhibition and I need a guy who understands that I get shy sometimes -even around him. He also has to understand that I also get spasms of audacity, so I need a certain fix of spontaneous adventures! I want our days to be filled with impulsive, impish escapades. I guess that’s why I’m partial to cheeky guys. We can be impudent together!
…To a safe degree, of course. It’s fun to misbehave a little but it’s important to be sensible as well. Man sluts, it’s okay to have a party in your pants! Just be a little more discriminate with who you invite. Come on! Have standards!
Some could argue that nature intended for men to be promiscuous. I say that Mother Nature has changed her mind!! That’s why STDs are going around. Our earthy mama has grown weary of the population explosion and heartache all this slutting around has caused. For shame!
I won’t judge someone because of his or her sexual past (okay, I’ll judge a little bit. And a lot a bit if he’s the someone I’m supposed to end up with). Having experience doesn’t make them a better or worse person than someone who isn’t so knowledgable. But let’s be realistic. There are diseases going around. The chances of acquiring them get higher with every partner. No matter how much you love a person, it won’t change the fact that herpes are a turn off, period. And there’s no getting rid of them.
Do you really want to take that gamble?
Something even harder to get rid of? Jealousy.
It takes a lot to get me jealous. Correction: It takes a lot to get me to admit I’m jealous. I’m ma-pride, so no matter how envious I am of someone I will REFUSE to show it. Unless the guy purposely tries to make me feel insecure…(Jerk!)
But come on! Every girl has her limit. And say -in some farfetched, delusion drenched fantasy- I end up marrying this guy. We would, naturally, do things married people do. Only…I don’t think I can keep from comparing myself to his past conquests. I don’t want them to be hideous. I want them all to be attractive so I know that my guy has an unflinching criterion -and that I was good enough to have met those high standards. It’s a pathetic admission but I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way. The problem is that I also want to be the prettiest/sexiest/bestest girl he’s ever had! I find this to be an impossibility. Especially with the sheer number of chicks this busy boy has been with. The ghosts of these dead-relationships will haunt me the way Edna Krabappel’s past haunted Ned Flanders.
So those are some of my (more appropriate) thoughts about man sluts. It’s a lazy way of wrapping up this entry, but I don’t really know what else to add. How about you guys contribute? Tell me, would you date a man slut? Are you a man slut? And, most importantly, are you for or against “Nedna“??
FEATURED ARTISTS: Matthew Woodson and Allyson Haller. There’s two of them today! Because I felt like it. And I see similarities in their art (at least in the pieces I chose for this entry)